I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
