Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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