I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
