Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So vagazzling was a success
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
