I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
420 ftw
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
