i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
