no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
