Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
