you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
