So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
