Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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