Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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