weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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