Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
