you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
