How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
