this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
