Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My room smells like vodka and shame
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
