ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
