We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
BRING THE BAGELS
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
