sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I look better un-naked...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
