you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
