my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
