I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
