K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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