Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
