OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
