Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I need a beard to bite.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize