Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
