when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
