My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
