AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
