last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
