Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
