first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
