Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
