He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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