Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
