Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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