ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
