make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
