dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Sext me about skeletons
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
