don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
