Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
