awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
