This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
