She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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