Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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