When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
