at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
